It's My Party...and I can cry if I want too?!?

Hey everyone! Happy Birthday to me (hehe).

Well today was going to be my "special" birthday weigh in day because I had hoped to have my goal of 30 pounds reached by today!

Did I do it?

NOPE!

Am I crying? (I can, it is my party!)

Nope!
Ok, in all seriousness, I am actually up .5 of a pound since Monday. I have lost a total of 28 pounds, not 30.

Before I opened this page up to write this post I was kind of embarrassed. I really didn't want to have to log on here and tell you all I didn't accomplish my goal. But guess what?

I'm over it.

First of all, I'm happy to show you all that I am a REAL person that has REAL downfalls. The last week is one of them. Sure, it's ok to splurge once or twice "in honor of your birthday." But let's just say having your birthday does not constitute an entire week of eating with reckless abandonment!

I fell off the wagon. I did. That is the only reason for a gain. Could I have made it to 30 pounds loss by today? Maybe...maybe not. But you know what? WHO CARES!

I have learned through this little experiment that I am no longer putting a "goal" date to lose by. Why? Because for me, a goal date does not make me "more motivated." It just makes me feel pressured. When I know that no dates come into the equation, I can accept that everything I put into my mouth is a choice for the rest of my life...not for the next couple of weeks/months until I reach some specific number on the scale.

SO! That's why I'm happy right now, despite what the scale told me this morning. I WILL splurge and I WILL fall of the wagon, but, DARN IT, I WILL get back up!

I like to think of myself as a positive person. So let's focus on something that makes a smile cross my face:

One year ago today, I turned 21 years old.

I weighed more than I ever had before. Probably at least 25 pounds more than today. The most exercise I did was walk 10 minutes with a friend on a lunch break.
I was out of breath going up the stairs at my own apartment!
I dreamed of being in shape but thought it could never happen.
Me in May 2009 (on left)

Today.

I weigh very similar to what I did when I was 18.
I can run farther than EVER in my life.
I am the best shape I've ever been.
I've changed the way I live my life.
Me in February 2010

So here's to the rest of my life- it's going to be a healthy one!
ps- better comparison pics coming when I can get to my own computer...

Happy Birthday To Me :)

This is what I said to myself as I crossed that finish line this morning. That, and a whole other slew of thoughts "You did this. It's ok to be proud. This is what you've been working for."

But to get there, I will start with my journey to Seattle which begins the day before (Saturday) where the city was alive with the Irish spirit.

Kellen and I headed on over to the city in the morning to meet up with some friends to celebrate. Kellen got into the Irish spirit on the ride their because we knew the city would be flooded with green:Our first order of business:
Picking up my race packet and shirt for the next day!
For lunch (and birthday celebration) we went to the cheesecake factory. I've been eyeing the "avocado egg rolls" for quite some time and wanted to try them out.
They were so yummy, but I'm sure quite high in calories. Oh well. It's my party...right?
For our main entree K and I shared the Thai Lettuce Wraps:
Things got a little silly while we were waiting for our food:
That night we stayed at my mom's apartment in seattle. The next morning I was SO pumped and excited for the race!

Here is me in all my gear back at the apartment:
We walked about a 1/2 mile to get to the start. I figured it was a good warm up!About the race:

WOW! 15,000 people showed up for this race around the city of Seattle. Green was EVERYWHERE! The weather was gorgeous- beautiful and sunny, but just the perfect temperature for a long run.

For whatever reason, I ended up having only ONE running buddy to walk up to the start line with. But that's ok! This race was not about friends- it was about my own accomplishment. However, I was happy to have one bud there (for the beginning at least)--it happened to be my husband's best bud Will. (p.s. ladies, this guy is amazing, AND SINGLE! hehe)
Of course the hubby was there to cheer us on. He has some problem with his knees so he didn't run, but he was cheering on taking pictures from the sidelines!

This is me right after I crossed the starting line (unfortunately the hubby's picture taking skills are....lacking...lol)
It was SUCH an amazing experience.

There were honestly people there at every stage of their life- old, young, fit, not so fit, skinny, lots to love (hehe). This was amazingly encouraging. Not once did I feel out of place or to slow. Some people chose to walk, others sprinted. But we all did it.

I was so nervous that I might have stopped to walk. It has been my goal for four months that I would run this whole race. Well guess what?

I SUCCEEDED.That's right....3.7 miles. The farthest I've ever ran! What an amazing feeling.

Honestly, time didn't matter. I don't even know my "official" time yet. All that matters is that I set a goal and I accomplished it. For that I am extremely happy.

Happy Birthday to me :)

Let's Talk

Warning: this post is going to be a bunch of random jabber. If you attempt to read all of it, I applaud and thank you for being such a loyal follower.

Hello all! Today I ran another 3 miles with Chloe. I have a couple of random things to spout about on this subject:

1. I am finding that eating 1 hour before I run is working wonders. I no longer feel nauseous and I also feel it is giving me a bit more energy than I had before.

2. I have been having a major side ache on my right side. I think this may be because I hold Chloe's leash on this side, and she likes to pull on it everytime she sees another dog, person, small animal, etc. I'm hoping this side ache will not pop up for my race on Sunday seeing as she will not be with me.

3. I am REALLY NERVOUS for Sunday (race day), because 3 miles feels like such a struggle for me at this point- and the race is 3.75. I want to be able to say I ran the whole thing- that has been my goal this whole time I've been training. But I am really nervous that I might not make it. :(

Happy thought: I no longer have things in my closet that don't fit. You know how amazing it is to reach into my closet, pull something out, and to just KNOW it won't be too small? It feels so rewarding.

I have now sent in an initial application to a school to become a Registered Dietitian. However, I have almost no science credits so I will have to start looking into taking some more courses through my local community college to get caught up so I can fulfill the program prerequisites.

If you are reading this and know of someone, or you yourself are, involved in the nutrition field and may be willing to talk to me more about it via e-mail, I would love to talk to someone!

I did receive several more formspring questions that I will be answering in the next couple of days. Oddly enough, a lot of them had to do with mine and my hubby's relationship! haha. I think I will be devoting a whole post to this aspect of my life and what his thoughts are on this whole "lifestyle change" I've adopted the last four months.

I will however, target one "non relationship" question I got yesterday:

"how do you deal with the PMS-related cravings? (for me, chocolate, salt, and general sluggishness..."

If I am going to be truthfully and brutally honest hear.... not very well! I am definitely still learning how to cope with these things. For the last four months if my body was craving something, PMS related or not, I've just given it what it wants. The only thing I've changed is trying to find a lower calorie replacement. So instead of eating a bowl of chocolate ice cream, I might have a cup of sugar free hot coco instead.

This technique has definitely helped me "coast through" my first 25 pounds- and will probably be my technique until I reach my first weight goal of 40 pounds lost. However, as I've mentioned in previous posts, I am thinking about adapting and changing some of these things (and probably kicking aspertame to the curb is going to be one of my first orders of business...which means saying goodbye to a lot of my "lower calorie" replacements).

So there ya go. That's been my technique...but we are all forever changing and adapting on this journey, and so will I!

As far as "sluggishness"- I exercise when I feel like it. I know, you are probably thinking when does anyone ever "feel" like it? Basically to me that means if there is nothing drastically wrong with me (i.e. I feel nauseous/crampy, exhausted, or really ill) I just kick my butt out the door.

Oh yeah, and having a Siberian husky helps A LOT! No joke.
You just can't say no to this face.

That's it for today!

A Rainbow Wrap Up

The month of February has now come to an abrupt end. It's time to hunker down and reflect on what things I accomplished this month.

February was a new and exciting month for me. I really believe that one of the most important steps we can do for ourselves is really recognize the positive changes we have made.
February brought a lot of these positive changes and experiences that I'd like to reflect on:

-I started my goal of trying to explore as much as I can of the area I live in. I visited Port Townsend and Alki Beach for my first two adventures.

-I started walking on sunny days during work, which was one way I found to add extra "moving" into my daily routine

-I got my husband to TRY and ADMIT that ground turkey is a yummy, healthy replacement for ground beef!

-I finished my Couch to 5k program- and rocked it!

-I ran for distance- 3 miles-and got a stellar time of 34:30.

-I survived both super bowl sunday, valentines day, and TOM hitting within 1 1/2 weeks of each other and still lost weight!

-Kellen and I started our vegetable garden!

-I took time to evaluate how God has played a role in my journey so far

and to wrap up this post, I'd like to tell you a little story about this weekend....

As of Friday, I had not tried on one single article of NEW clothing in a store since the beginning of my "get healthy" journey- November 9, 2009.

Well I finally broke this with a trip to H&M on Friday. And guess what you guys?!!?

I am down one WHOLE dress size.

I was in shock in the fitting room. I had to buy it! I will be getting a picture of it to show you guys because I'm sure I will be wearing it as much as I can in the next couple of weeks!

and then...
My friend brought me some leggings to try on and brought me a size medium. I instantly thought "Oh there is NO way these are going to fit...but I will try them on!" I did...and they fit! Granted yes, they are stretchy leggings. But to even be able to say I have an article of clothing in my closet with an M on the tag- now that just makes me happy. ;0)

Stay tuned tomorrow as it is my four month healthy living anniversary and weigh in. I'll be writing about my goals and dreams for my birthday month- March!

I found my sunshine.

Yesterday I accomplished something that I HAVE to share with you all. I ran three miles yesterday! I was so happy as this is the farthest I've gotten. And guess what!? I got 34:30 for a time! Not to shabby if you ask me! I was so proud of myself when I finished that run yesterday. It made me feel confident that I can and will finish my race that I have coming up in almost TWO weeks! AHHHH!

Last night Kellen started on our little garden. I hadn't planned on starting quite yet, but he got RIGHT on it when he got home and since this is supposed to be a "bonding" experience I greatly obliged. Here is setting up and planting our first little row of lettuce:

And of course Chloe had to see what was going on and make sure there was nothing edible being wasted:I'm not sure why this totally grosses me out, but we had some garlic on the counter and it started sprouting (EWWW)....so Kellen decided to plant it and see what happens.

While he did that I made dinner. I needed to use up some beef that had been in our freezer so I made teryaki kebabs and brown rice:

Yum!!

I also want to say THANK YOU to everyone who gave me a blog award this week, I am so thankful to know that I have some pretty awesome readers and I love getting to know you all through your blogs.

That being said, I'm not going to pass on all of them but I did want to pass on this one I received and mention some blogs that I absolutely love. If you don't follow these gals, you should because they are really awesome and have been so supporting to me!

This award came from Googie at Love Me For Who I Am:
I chose to do this one because...well...I love me some sunshine! And even when it's raining here in Washington State, these blogs put a smile on my face:

Patti @ Less is More
Kristen @ Change of Pace
Jessica @ CBGBlog
Alex @ just another FAT girl.
ContinuousChanges
Lucy @ Eat When Hungry
CinciMom11
Whitney @ Fat Girl in a Wedding Dress
Kaitlin @Everyday Grace
Tiff @ Project 365
Melissa@ Try Try Again
Alexia @ My Wicked, Wicked Ways

These are just ones I enjoy reading daily, but there are SO many more I'm trying to catch up on and that I really enjoy. I appreciate all of my readers so much!

I'm pumped for my weigh in on Monday--it's my fourth month healthy anniversary and the beginning of a new month. Plus...shhh don't tell but...I've been peeking! And it seems to be that my "starting intensity" has payed off this week! We will see!

Um Excuse Me Miss...Your Child is Missing.

First of all, this is my second post today but I just couldn't resist updating you all with this little nugget of inspiration I discovered! And also, thank you all SO much for the lovely comments on my post earlier about my struggling thoughts on skinny friends.

Lately I have been trying to incorporate exercise into EVERYTHING I do. One easy, practical way I've found to do this is by walking from the family's house that I work for to the little girl's school to pick her up. (I am a nanny if you did not know this). Anyway, it is about a one mile walk to get to the preschool (that I would normally drive).
On the way, I take her stroller with me. I have often had thoughts that people may just think I'm crazy that pass me on the road. For one thing, I'm pushing a stroller with no one in it. I think that maybe people maybe think that I am
A. Crazy or
B. Expecting a baby and getting "prepared" for what it might feel like to push a stroller!

On the way BACK from her preschool, I'm not sure if this is even worse because...well...she is 4. Does anyone know if this is too old to push a child in a stroller? It's like one of those "bigger kid" strollers...but still? I'm constantly wondering if people think I am crazy for pushing (what they assume is my child) in a stroller at the age of 4. LOL But really, a one mile walk with really big hills is just too much for her to walk after being at preschool for 4 hours.

As I was walking today I started to think about my new goal of incorporating exercise into my every day routine and I discovered something. I have done some sort of "moving my body" every single day for 7 days now. It went a little something like this:

Saturday- Finished my C25k, ran 30 minutes
Sunday- Went on a short hike and bike ride with the hubby
Monday- Visiting grandparents, ran for 25 minutes on their treadmill
Tuesday- Still at grandparents, went on a short bike ride on one of their bikes
Wednesday- Ran 35 minutes
Thursday- Went swimming in morning, walked 3 miles in the afternoon with the girl I watch
Friday- Ran 12 minutes in morning, walked 2.5 miles with the girl I watch

And tomorrow we are taking a pretty long bike trip to Alki Beach in Seattle. It should be about a 16 mile ride altogether. I'm actually REALLY nervous because I am going with my husband and two of his best [GUY] friends. That means I'm going to have to keep up with three guys...who are pretty used to bike riding in general. I got some bike spandex today with a pad so my butt wouldn't be too sore from the trip (hehe!).

Anyway, if you are reading this WISH ME LUCK!

I will be checking in tomorrow night to let you all know how the trip went!!

Weigh In Week 13: Oh Monday's, How I Have Come to Love Thee!

February 1st. Today is my third month anniversary on this health journey and I am SO excited. Slow and steady wins the race, right? I lost another 2 pounds this week....bringing my grand total to 22 pounds lost.

January 2010 is behind us. I learned a lot this month and experienced new and exciting moments on this journey.
-I started to FEEL like my body was different
-People began noticing and commenting on my weight loss
-I ran a total of 28 minutes- the longest amount I've ever run consecutively before
-I started my food journal
-I weighed in LESS than my husband AND I finally admitted my weight to him (I was nervous to do this previously)

In February my goals will be:
- Make it back to my high school weight by Feb. 28th
-Finish my c25k program
-Run 3.1 miles 5 times
-Journal ALL month

Before I go let me share with you all the DELICOUS dinner we had last night. My goal lately has been to find dinners that are few ingredients, cheap, healthy and delicious. This one definitely fits in that category:

Thin Tuna Casserole:

This pretty little dish has the following:
-1 can of tuna (packed in water, drained)
-1 can "fat free" cream of chicken soup
-1/2 cup frozen peas
-1/2 cup frozen broccoli
-3 cups cooked whole wheat pasta
-1/2 cup reduced fat cheddar cheese (shredded)

Mix all ingredients except cheese, place in baking dish. Bake at 375 for 15 minutes. Sprinkle cheese on top, bake for 5 more minutes.
350 Calories per serving (give or take a few calories)
Makes four servings...but be prepared! Hubby just may eat TWO!
(Caught red handed eating his second serving)

Let's rock this month bloggers!

Tag! You're it!

So how many of you have have ever been "tagged" in a facebook photo??

How many of you have cringed at that picture??! I'm guessing a lot! I know I have. Out of all the photos on facebook that have been "tagged" of me, I rarely see one that I'd like to "write home about." Usually the process goes like this:

You see in your email that so and so has tagged you. You hurriedly rush over to facebook to see the picture. You cringe a little bit and quickly untag yourself, but the damage is already done. You know all your friends have seen the picture. And beside, even if your not tagged, the picture is STILL up on facebook for all the world to see.

Here are a few pictures that would describe this series of events for you...my all time worse "tagged" photos!

Here I am at my friends wedding about 1 1/2 years ago. (I'm on the left with the open mouth) (PS- why do cute girls always look ADORABLE in "silly" pictures and I always look like a freak?!)
This one was taken last summer. Me on right. And this one's the kicker for me. This is me at a parade last May in my town. They had a 5k run that morning that I thought about doing. And by thought, I mean "huh...that would be nice...where's my breakfast!?" haha.
Well all I have to say is NO MORE, blogger friends, NO MORE! Today I experienced a FACEBOOK REVELATION--it went a little something like this:

I logged onto my email. "Laura has tagged you in a picture" I read. I rushed to FB. I opened it....and guess what I thought?!

WOW, I AM SKINNY!

And just because I like to celebrate myself and I know you all are the supportive bunch...here it is!

(That's me on the left boogying down) (teal shirt)(photo taken on last Friday night)
Yes, i have a slight double chin. Yes, I have a few visible fat rolls. But DARN IT, I LOOK GOOD!

Ok, I'm off my bragging box. Just thought I would share a little moment that made me happy. And let's be honest, how many people really ever feel that way when they are "tagged"???

People ARE noticing!!

I have to admit that I have been WAITING for the day that I could write this post. Please do not take this as "bragging"-if anything I want this post to be an encouragement to you all that you CAN do this and that people WILL notice and it feels wonderful.

The comments began about two weeks ago. It started with people who already knew that I was working on losing weight....my mom, my grandma, my dad. I was super happy that they were noticing, but I also just thought to myself that they were trying to be "secretly" encouraging and that they really couldn't tell too much.

Then my husband started his comments this last weekend. He even said something along the lines of "WOW, it's amazing how much you can change in just two months!!" This made me uberly happy.

Then this weekend, I went to a service at church that I hadn't been to in a while! I saw my sister in law there and she said to me: "You look like you have lost a TON of weight!" (she's 15 so not the most careful with her words haha). Anyway, I didn't care, it made me really happy. I told Kellen what she said and he asked me what I said back, which was "Oh yeah, I've lost a bit." At this he said "Nicole, a bit?! You need to be proud and tell everyone you have lost almost 20 pounds!!"

:)

Then today. After trying on some more pants that were in the back of my drawer I found (3 more pairs that fit!) I met up with one of my best buds at starbucks. The first thing she said (even though she sees me like every other day) is "OK, you look visibly skinnier today. Like really!"

I don't know what it is, but it's almost like within the last week my body must have gone through some transformation as everyone seems to be noticing all of the sudden....I have to admit...it feels pretty darn good!

You can ALL do this!! I am so proud of all my blogger friends that are working hard. You are all such great inspirations!

Weigh In Week 11: Party at 7:17!

Ok, I'm about to admit to you all that I am a giant dork...and here's why:

When I was a little girl my favorite number was 17. This was mainly because my birthday is March 17th and also because it was my favorite channel on television, Nickolodeon, hello! (Told you I was a dork).

Ok, here is the dorkiest thing about it. I also really liked the time "7:17" because of this. Everytime I saw this time on the clock, it was like my own individual little "party time" and I would do a little 7:17 dance. I still to this day get a little happy when I see this time on the clock.

SO why am I admitting this geekiness to you all??!! Well I will tell you...I've been thinking about my Monday weigh in post for a couple of days now, and fully expected to see my FAVE numero as my weight loss today. But guess what?!?! I LOST 18 as of today!

Oh well, I was still doing my 7:17 dance this morning on the scale. And I'm so happy with myself, I think I might just celebrate on 8:18 this week too!

Facing the Muffintop!

So I wrote yesterday that I didn't think I would have a huge loss today. It is true...in a sense. I was 16 pounds down this morning. 1 pound down for this week...and you know what?! That's ok! I'm happy for that pound. I think I might just be a happy to see one pound a week for a long time. That would put me at my goal of 40 pounds down at the end of July, and that's ok for me (I would still have time to show off my new hot bod in a bikini! ).

More exciting that the one pound this morning was the fact that all my regular pants were dirty. Because of this, I had to go scrounging through my drawers and I came across a pair of jeans I bought back in the summer. When I put them on back then, they literally HURT to wear them. haha. I was hoping they would "strech" out to my normal size, but no such luck. So I put them on today and YAY! they fit like a glove.

These jeans are a size 14. At this point I am pretty sure 15 pounds ago I was in complete denial that I needed to have been wearing a size 16 pants. I must have had a serious muffin top...sick!!

Anyway I am happy to report I am an official size 14! Oh...and even more motivation is that my grandma (a very generous woman!) has said if I get to a size 10 she is going to take me on a shopping spree. WOOHOO!

TMI: my crack fiasco.

Today I forgot my belt. Well friends, maybe this is a little bit of a non scale victory, but let's just say I am NEVER going to make that mistake again. After losing close to 14 pounds, my pants were falling down all day long and the hubby had one too many crack shots!! It was quite embarassing!

Tommorow I definately need to remember the belt, I don't want to go around tramautizing more innocent people!!

The Back Up Underwear

You all know those underwear I'm talking about. The ones that sit at the back of your drawer, waiting for the day that all your other undies are in the laundry. They rarely ever get worn, if ever, mostly because there is usually some flaw to them that makes you avoid them at all costs.

Well I pulled mine out yesterday. The flaw: to small. Although adorable, I got these pair of undies for my bridal shower two years ago and have only worn them a number of times because they are a large from Victorias Secret, where apparently every woman is stick thin with a size D chest.

Anyway, the point is, I am happy to report my back up undies fit just a bit better yesterday :).



On other such matters, this weekend has been a frustrating food frenzy. I didn't eat much on Friday so once the hubby said he wanted to eat Teriyaki that night, I obliged and was not to afraid of over doing it on calories. Yesterday we went to a pub with some friends. I couldn't decide between a "Vegan Burger" and the "Fish Tacos". I decided on the tacos. Sour cream and cheese on the side. I have absolutely no idea how many calories that was. Oh well, we will see how my weight is tomorrow.

First Run: Complete!!

This morning was my first real "marathon type" run. It was only one mile, but I feel very accomplished! My friend Hollie who does 5k's all the time went with me! She was a great support and stayed with me the whole time. The first part of the race was a small hill/incline and was really hard for me, but once we turned the first corner, it was level and downhill the rest of the time. I got 11:37 for the time. Definately not impressive for a mile, but I am just happy I ran the whole thing! :) Here's a pic from before the race:

I Cheated!

And boy am I happy I did!! The scale said 6.5 down this AM!! AHH! I won't get toooo excited until I see that number of the scale tomorrow morning (who am I kidding, I'm overjoyed). I will literally crush the scale if it tells me I gained weight over night :).

Thanksgiving- Blunders and Accomplishments

Well this long Thanksgiving was definitely a challenge to stay on track. Thursday, Thanksgiving day, we headed over to Kellen's grandparents house (the Bergen's) to chow down. I was pretty proud of myself here- although I was starving by the time food was served, I stuck with healthy choices (turkey, green beans, and small amount of mashed taters) and didn't go back for a second plate. Dessert time I had a very small slice of apple pie and some whipped cream.

I snacked on a couple of olives in between things and was excited to find out that five olives are only 25 calories! Woohoo!

When I got home I did some "loose" calculating of my calories for the day on livestrong.com and found I had around 700 calories left for the day! WOW. I had some rice and a skinny cow.

Needless to say, I was happy with my performance :).

The next two days were spent at my grandparents house, which, if anything is a temptation situation, this one is. Not only is my Grandma a great cook (in my opinion) but she cooks to feed the thousands (when there are only about 10 of us)!

All in all, I'm happy with the choices I made (despite my dessert choice on Friday...eeekk). I also walked on the treadmill on Friday instead of just opting out of exercise all together.

Today is sunday and I can't weigh myself (though I may just end up cheating!!). Ready for week 4 to start tomorrow.