Completely Overwhelmed.

Wow. Today was like being stuck inside a blender of emotions on high speed.

Weight.

First I will start with my morning. I woke up and weighed myself. I weigh myself every morning, I have made the decision that this is helpful to me on my journey. I was ecstatic that I broke through to a weight decade I can't ever remember seeing. I don't think I ever believed I would get to this weight range...and I'm there.

Health.

I went for an initial appointment with an acupuncture doctor today. He is going to be focusing on helping get rid of migraines I have experienced for the past few years resulting from some shoulder/back stress I've developed. His first question after his "examination" was: did you get in a car accident or something? The scary thing is: no. I have had no significant event that has caused damage to my shoulders- yet my shoulders have reflected that to several doctors now (including chiropractors). I start acupuncture treatment for this on Friday.

More Health.

A formspring question combined with a talk with the doctor today has convinced me that I will be going off birth control. I don't really feel like divulging to many details except that I still don't plan on purposely getting pregnant anytime soon, but the possible implications from the hormones I am putting in my body just don't seem anywhere worth it. I'm nervous.

School.

On Friday I go visit the campus of the University I am hoping to attend. I can't tell you how excited I am. Questions have been running through my head all week. If I end up going to this University, it is nationally renowned for Naturopathic medicine. Right down my alley and such a compelling topic to me. My major would be nutrition science. I plan to take pictures and post them after my trip to discuss my experience.

Job.

I was informed today that I will no longer have a job as of June 17th. I had previously been told that I would have a job until September- but this has changed. I am stressed out. I can't even begin to explain how the next 6 months of my life will look. Will I be working? Will I make it into school in September? Where will I work? Will Kellen get a raise? (he graduates in December and we hope he will get a significant raise at that time). All I know is that somehow we have to afford a mortgage and our bills. I'm not sure how that's going to happen if I'm not working. It's complicated and messy. But that's life right?

Food.

Today I fully understood stress eating full force for the first time in 6 months. I honestly didn't think it was something I struggled with. I came home and ate 1/4 bag of potato chips, several spoonfuls of chocolate PB, some pot stickers, and way to much rice. Random. I feel like hurling.

Have you ever had a time in your life where you honestly did not know what the next 6 months would bring?

What To Eat

I must ask this question as soon as possible as to not forget: does anyone else find google reader really annoying? Is there any way to comment on people's posts other than having to click on and go into their blog? I feel like it takes up too much time! I have been blog slacking!

Today I started reading a great book:

The intent of my reading going forward is to get a jump start on my career in nutrition. I was recommended this book by a Certified Nutritionist I recently met and am really happy so far. I plan to do a bit of a mini book report on each chapter here on my blog so I can keep track of what I am learning.

Nestle caught me within the first chapter. Her intent in this book is to take the reader through a supermarket and educate them about why and how to select your food. She begins by stating what some may say is the "obvious mantra" to dieting and exercise: eat less, move more, eat lots of fruits and vegetables, go easy on the junk food.

Easy enough right? However, because of sly advertising techniques being used by so many of our food distributors today, we are confused. Food labels splash hundreds of promises- "low fat, omega-3 fats, high in fiber...etc...etc" how can we truly begin to understand what's really important?

One thing that really struck me is the way in which supermarkets and food distributors have gotten consumer persuasion down to a science. Did you know that companies pay for the spot that they are shelved (called Slotting Fees)? Or how about that appearance in the weekly ad- we can be sure that cost a pretty penny. Nestle suggests these tactics take away most of the decision from the customer and places the power in the food distributor and supermarkets hands.

Think about the last time you walked in the grocery store. Did you stick to your list or did you ad those items you just HAD to pass to get to the dairy section? Did you buy that conveniently placed bag of potato chips that was on such a great sale? How often do you grab things from the very top, or very bottom of a shelf--probably not very often?

Did you know that America produces roughly 3,900 calories in food per day for every man? No wonder our obesity rates in America are skyrocketing! Food companies will not risk giving up profit by making less food- so what option does that leave them? They sell it- in every way they can.

Let's take the power of food shopping and place it back in our own hands. Let's educate ourselves on how to select and what to look for at our local supermarket. Grab a cart and join me:

What to Eat: An Aisle by Aisle Guide to Savvy and Good Eating

by Marion Nestle

(let me know if you'd like to read along with me!)

How Do They Feel?

How does your spouse feel about this weight loss/healthy living blog?

I didn't receive this question- I am asking you all. I think one of the hardest struggles is getting my husband to understand why exactly I do this. I really don't know if he will ever really understand the support and encouragement I feel from this online blogger community.

To him, it's just a weird, passing fad that I will eventually give up and am just doing to kill time. Don't get me wrong- it's not that he discourages me from blogging in any way- but he really just doesn't understand. He gets frustrated if I'm blogging when he's around- even if he is busy with something else! It's frustrating to me that he can't see this as a hobby- it's like because he doesn't share in this, it's a waste of time.

I have to admit that I often get jealous of the girl's whose husbands embrace their blog full force: taking pictures of them and their food, writing entries for them, letting them take pictures of them doing "active" and "healthy" things (it may appear this is me- but let me be honest, this is honestly like pulling teeth in our relationship!).

Again, I want to be clear that he is really supportive of this health journey. He compliments me and encourages me and tells me he is proud. But knowing that he doesn't really understand why I "blog" just bugs me sometimes.

What about you? Have you dealt with anything similar for a spouse or someone close to you in your life? What about your health journey in general? How have others responded?

Weigh In Week 24: Dancin' my Dinner Off

Well friends, not sure if you remember that my exact words last week were "Seriously, 2.5lbs- you are going DOWN!" Well guess what? I kicked those 2.5 to the curb- that's right. I am down

34lbs total! Wooohooo!

Unfortunately, I didn't join a new weight decade. I am right on the line! But you know what? That's ok. I know that this week I will enter into territory that I literally NEVER remember seeing. And I am SO excited to do so. I have 6lbs until my first goal- losing a total of 40lbs.

This week I really just re-focused. I tracked my food again and tried to work out as much as possible. Despite the weekend (which is always the hardest two days for me) I think I did pretty great.

Speaking of the weekend, on Saturday my lovely mom and grandma came to visit me! We had plans to have lunch at a teahouse nearby but switched last minute and ended up going to a paella bar that just opened up.

Paella is a Spanish food. At the Paella bar, you order lots of different "appetizer" size plates and split these between the table. It was so yummy! And event though there was a lot of food available, I didn't feel like I stuffed myself (even with dessert!). Here are some pics of the food we ordered:

We started out with drinks. This is the white sangria and on the side you can see the coca bread. The drink was so fruity and delicious, and the bread was super moist and served with oil and balsamic vinegar.

Next up was the goat cheese stuffed dates wrapped in bacon and beef empanadas. Can you believe I've never had a date before this? This little bacon wrapped thing was heavenly!

We sorta dived into this next one before I got a chance to take a pic....this is the Potato Tortilla with Chorizo and Spinach. Very tasty!

And of course the main attraction: Chicken Paella! So moist and delicious, this dish was worth the wait!

So, after all of that....you'd think we wouldn't have room for dessert huh? Yeah, right!

Chocolate Torte with Gray Salt:

Tirimisu:

I think we had died and gone to food heaven:

Can you tell we liked it??!

So now you are wondering what in fact I may have done to burn off all those calories?!

Well....I danced!

That's right, Saturday night my friends and I got our boogy on at a nightclub in our area. I was sweatin' it up! Let me tell, that was a great aerobic workout! When I looked up how many calories I may have burned online, it says that for 30 minutes of dancing a person my size would burn about 200 calories. I am thinking I did a bit more than that.

All in all, it was a wonderful weekend. Great food and some fun exercise!

This week I am hoping to lose another two, which would put me at only 4lbs away from goal. That honestly sounds unbelievable to me- 4lbs!!

I can do this!--And so can you! Have a great week guys!

Walking on the Spit

Spending some time today with these ladies:

My mom and grandma! I really love them.

What's on the agenda? Visiting a teahouse and a spring festival. We will see how it goes!

For now, I'd like to share some pics from that 11 mile hike I did a couple of weeks ago.

It was called the "Dungeness Spit" Hike- a spit is defined as "a narrow point of land projecting into the water."

At the end of the spit, there is a lighthouse that you can tour. To get to the lighthouse is 5.5 miles- that means round trip this "hike" is 11 miles long. Woo! It definitely kicked my butt!

A shot of the spit from the top of the lighthouse:

Kellen and his friend Will entertained themselves with skipping rocks:

And I entertained myself by making a rock sculpture, which is now sitting on my porch at home:

Of course I had to bring along a snack- I got really hungry about halfway through:

With so many curves, we finally spotted the lighthouse around mile 4!

A shot of me during one of our many breaks:

Us at the top of the lighthouse:

Check it out! Victoria BC was only 18.4 miles away. Pretty cool!

It was a very hard hike. But so rewarding and so worth it.

Hope you all have a wonderful and active Saturday!

The Gun Show

Remember how a couple of days ago I asked you all if your arms ever felt sore from running? Well the reason I asked is because I have been waking up with sore arms! Very strange considering I have done little arm workouts lately and mostly just running/cardio.

Then last night as I was laying in bed I flexed my arm muscle- and was shocked! I could actually feel a little bit of definition!

Do you know how wonderful it would be not to have flabby, shapeless arms? Ok, you probably do and you probably dream of it as well! Well I decided to take a "before" shot of me this morning and hope that I can compare in a couple of months- when I have some smokin hot guns- right?

All news on the healthy front is swell! I have stuck to my calories and worked out every day this week except yesterday (taking a bit of break). I'm hoping I will drop into that new weight decade by Monday (the same decade as my first goal weight!). So exciting.

boobs, babies, birth control

Hello everyone!

I had a wonderfully active day yesterday and I think I'm going to take a rest day today. I ran two miles in the morning, than played tennis with a friend in the evening and did some free weight lifting while catching up on Biggest Loser! My muscles are sore today but it feels great and I'm hoping I'm getting closer to tackling that 2.5lbs left to the new weight decade!

So I think I am kind of a bad formspringer- if a "good" one exists. I logged into my account last night and realized I had FOUR questions waiting for me! So I will tackle those today!

warning to men: boobs, babies, and birth control will be discussed.

"Do you plan to have a garden and do some canning to help you with eating unprocessed foods? ~Laura @ Life Happens"

Yes! I am starting my own garden. The only thing is, I am REALLY REALLY bad at growing/taking care of plants. If any of you were following me back in February, I did some starters. Well...those died! Haha! So now I just planted all the seeds directly in the ground and hope that nature will just take it's course! As far as canning...I will have to look into this! Never thought about it! Thanks for the great question, Laura!

"Have your boobs shrunk as you've lost weight?"

...hehe. This is a funny one. Yes, they have. In fact, I went to get fitted for a new bra the other day and was actually quite embarrassed because apparently my current bra is way to big! I just didn't want to "downsize" until I got to my goal weight. Plus, I HATE bra shopping. But yes, they've probably gone down a cup size I'd say.

"Considering the risks that come with it, and your admirable endeavors to become healthy in all aspects of your life, I present a girly question: Do you take birth control? If not, was that decision related to your health?"

Yes, I use the NuvaRing for birth control. To be honest with you, I actually haven't even given a second thought to the health risks of BC until I read this question. It's funny how we can take care of ourselves and worry about our bodies in one aspect of our lives, but then completley ignore the others? Yes, it is important to do the research and understand what you are putting into your body. This is what my doctor recommended for me, but putting full faith in that without doing a little research myself is well...ignorant. Anyway, thanks for shining a light on that area and I will be doing some more research into this in the near future. Anyone else have thoughts?

And, kind of ironic, but the next question is:

"When are you going to have babies? :)"

NEVER!! Ok, not really. To be honest, I REALLY REALLY REALLY can't wait to have kids. Kellen and I have been talking about having babies since we started dating (at 16 and 17, scary, I know!). Anyway. It's funny, I really thought I would have kids when I was married for two years. July will be our third anniversary, so I'm a little late! LOL. Really, my ideas of having kids has really changed over the past couple of years. I know that you can never be totally financially "ready"- but this factor is still really impacting my decision. I want to be a stay at home mom for the first couple of years, and we just couldn't afford for me not to work right now with the bills we have. Also, the fact that I am really excited about finishing my degree at this point has helped get rid of that "baby fever" a bit! Honestly, in my opinion, I feel that God will tell us when it's time- either with a happy surprise or a conviction in our hearts to start trying.

Thanks for the questions everyone! If you have any more, shoot them into my formspring box on my sidebar!

A Peek at My Lunch

This is my lunch today. Have I mentioned how much I love asparagus? Or just veggies in general? I was hanging out with some friends last night and one wanted to stop at the grocery store because she hadn't eaten dinner. I eyed these babies right away and got REALLY excited. If you know me in real life, you know that I get excited about very strange things. Well one of them is defintely becoming produce and, more specifically, on sale produce.

On that topic, it's almost kind of comforting to know that a lot of you don't ALWAYS buy organic produce. While I recognize that this is definitely a much healthier option...let's face it- it is SO much more expensive. When 1/3 of my grocery bill is on produce already, adding even more $$ to that number is just hard to do. Again, I totally understand the benefits and hope to one day say that that is all I eat. But until we get a little more cash flow around this house, I'm going to have to stick with what I can afford!

Did you notice the tea cup on the side? It actually has some sweetened sun tea I made on Sunday. If you don't know what sun tea is- you should try it. If you are laughing at me for even explaining it...then I think you must be from the South, right? Because up here in the Northwest- I'm tellin ya- not a lot of people know about this!

Basically I make sun tea with regular black tea bags. I use quite a few in a clear glass pitcher, and then let it sit out in the sun for a couple of hours. For some reason it takes away a lot of the bitterness and has almost a naturally sweeter taste!

I also have been making turkey wraps lately. Seriously, they are the bomb. I take a laughing cow cheese wedge and spread it on a small la tortilla. Then I do a slice of turkey, some spinach, and tomato. Guess what? That whole thing is about 130 calories (give or take depending on how much meat you put on).

And the best part? Pair it with some fruit and veggies, and you have yourself a super filling lunch for under 250 calories (or less!).

Well, that's lunch.

PS- I've just logged into my formspring and realize I have questions! I will answer these soon!

Query

1. How do you cook baby bok choy? I saw some at the farmers market but didn't buy it because I didn't know what to do with it!

2. What do you do with Kale? Same circumstance.

3. Have you ever had a dog that wouldn't "come" to you for anything-(treats, praise, toys, etc). I spent 1/2 an hour at the dog park this morning trying to corner her!

4. What is your favorite healthy cereal?

5. Do your arms ever feel sore after running?

6. Do you buy organic produce?

7. What is your favorite seasoning for BBQing?

Feel free to answer all or one or none of these questions. They just came off the top of my head- totally random.

Oh and by the way:

Husky for sale. Does not know how to come. Will eat your pizza off the counter. Thinks your shoes are chewy toys. Will howl at you if you don't run her every day.

Make an offer. :)

Weigh in Week 23: Let's Get Ready to Rumble

Ello' Friends.

I'm going to get straight the point. This week's weigh in SUCKED. I gained .5lbs! I have actually never gained before during these last 5 months other than after Christmas. B

OO! Please don't tell me it's ok, it's fine, or any other excuse! The fact is: I blew it this week. I really took a lot of steps BACKWARD that just were not worth it!

You know what's frustrating? That even though I did take steps for

ward (exercising and such) I still would allow myself to throw that all out the window to overeat on unhealthy food-causing my steps forward to be ca

ncelled out (at least that's what it feels like!).

I don't know what's going on with me. I think that maybe because I weig

h less than I can ever even remember weighing right now, I have this new little demon in my head telling me I should just "maintain" here. The fact is- I'm not done. I have 8.5lbs left to

my first goal and 12.5lbs to a "healthy" bmi. Seriously, that seems like

nothing, but at this point it's getting harder and harder to kick these last couple of pounds.

This week I have one goal and vision: make it to my new wei

ght "decade." I am only 2.5lbs away from seeing a weight decade I can literally NEVER remember seeing! I want to attack those 2.5lbs with full force!

Seriously, 2.5lbs- you are going DOWN!

I will leave you with some pics of a "treat" that I have been consuming quite often:

The green nutella monster!!

-1 to 2 cups spinach

-1/2 banana

-1/2 Tbsp Nutella

-1/4 cup soy milk

-ice

Yum.

On a Sunny Sunday

On this sunny sunday, I did some gardening in my new garden:

And then my pup went for a ride:

We explored the grand forest:

And had a delicious nutritious lunch in the sun:

The sun creates motivation in me. I love it.

What motivates you?

Have a wonderful week!

I'm Back!

Hey everyone! Life has been REALLY crazy lately but I am happy to say I got my new computer up and running. I have quite a few posts to catch up on- I haven't been able to upload my pics since April 1st and there is so much I want to share! So bear with me this week guys as I may possibly be "double posting" all week long.

Unfortunately, I don't have to much to share about this weekend on the health front. I really didn't do good for my body yesterday food wise and I'm feeling the pain today (mentally and physically!)-we will see how that fairs on the scale tomorrow!

So to start with, I will show you how I started my month! April 1st

my friend Laura and I took a hike on Mt. Walker. This hike was TOUGH. I was happy that Laura (an experienced hiker) gave me the opportunity to take breaks when I needed it. I would literally walk about 100 feet and then stop to "catch my breath" and slow my heart rate, and then start again.

It was a two mile hike which gained 2,000 feet in elevation. More experienced hikers would say that is quite an elevation gain (i think?) but I just went with the flow. It was pretty cool and foggy throughout the trail which gave it a really cool feel.

On the trail:

I'm telling you...it was hard!

At the top! Getting some water and feeling accomplished!

We did it!!

Re-Evaluating

side note: It's pretty cute-every time I sit at the computer my pup comes and curls up on top of my feet. I like to think of her as my personal foot warmer :).

So, yesterday Chloe and I went for a run. We ran almost 3 miles in about 32 minutes. I started thinking about how I have this 5 mile run coming in May and then the 1/2 marathon in June- which I intend to run/walk.

What struck is the fact that I really just don't think I'm going to be a LONG distance runner. To be honest, I enjoy my good 30 minute runs but anything more than that takes a huge physical effort and a battle in my mind. I know that I enjoy the accomplishments of a long run, but honestly, I started running to get a good workout. And 30 minutes of running seems like a pretty good daily workout to me.

That's when I thought: well maybe I will just cap my runs at 30 minutes, but when I do races I could run longer distances? But I'm not sure if this is wise either because longer runs require you train for them properly, right?

So I think I am reevaluating my running goals...for now. I am going to stick to running 5k races (other than what I am already signed up for) and train with 30-35 minute runs (3 miles). I will re-evaluate down the road whether or not I want to up my distances, but for now, I am going to stick with what I am comfortable with and enjoy, instead of pushing myself to a point where I can't even enjoy running.

It's hard for me to admit that at this point I don't want to continue upping my distance because that is what I see so many other runner bloggers doing. But I think it's time for me to swallow my proud and accept that 3 miles of running is a great accomplishment!

Weigh In Week 22: Puttin' on the Ritz

Howdy Partners!

Well if you have been following my blog you know that this past week was a struggle. My eating machine split personality emerged on about Wednesday and mowed through several packs of Ritz crackers and other unhealthy options....

Right when I decide that I want to move forward with this "non processed" eating clean kinda stuff and my other side decides to tempt me with those. I seriously don't know what the deal is, but I have a major downfall for those things. So buttery and salty.....ok....get a hold of yourself Nicole!

Anyway, I don't keep them in my house, but unfortunately the people that I nanny for have an entire shelf full...and the kids ALWAYS ask for them. GRR! It literally takes ever part of me to resist these stupid crackers!

Workouts were not bad last week. I think I ran about 4 times? And then of course my massive beach hike on Saturday...that had to have burned some major calories.

On the way back from the hike (I was with my husband and his best friend Will) the boys wanted to stop at a burger joint that supposedly has the best burgers they have ever tasted. I am not going to go into details because I want to show you through pictures sometime this week!

So, should I have gotten a burger? Probably not. But I did. And you know what? That's ok! And it WAS worth it. Especially after walking for four hours on sand and rock. Seriously, that burger tasted A-MAZ-ING.

I never said I was perfect!

Anyway, I really had a struggle with food this week and that gave me a weigh in result of -0....yup, I lost 0 pounds this week.

I'm not really mad or upset in any way. I chose to eat some unhealthy things, but I also listened to my body when it was hungry and felt that I did need to give it more this week. This is not a race for me- it's just another week. And today starts a week where I can choose to move forward instead of standing still.

I'm really feeling good. I am actually starting to "feel" like what I look like (i think!). Meaning, I finally feel like I am getting skinny. Did I mention I bought a size SMALL shirt last weekend??!?! I don't think I EVER remember wearing a size small! I know that this brand must run big, but I'm taking that NSV and running with it.....