Wow. Today was like being stuck inside a blender of emotions on high speed.
Weight.
First I will start with my morning. I woke up and weighed myself. I weigh myself every morning, I have made the decision that this is helpful to me on my journey. I was ecstatic that I broke through to a weight decade I can't ever remember seeing. I don't think I ever believed I would get to this weight range...and I'm there.
Health.
I went for an initial appointment with an acupuncture doctor today. He is going to be focusing on helping get rid of migraines I have experienced for the past few years resulting from some shoulder/back stress I've developed. His first question after his "examination" was: did you get in a car accident or something? The scary thing is: no. I have had no significant event that has caused damage to my shoulders- yet my shoulders have reflected that to several doctors now (including chiropractors). I start acupuncture treatment for this on Friday.
More Health.
A formspring question combined with a talk with the doctor today has convinced me that I will be going off birth control. I don't really feel like divulging to many details except that I still don't plan on purposely getting pregnant anytime soon, but the possible implications from the hormones I am putting in my body just don't seem anywhere worth it. I'm nervous.
School.
On Friday I go visit the campus of the University I am hoping to attend. I can't tell you how excited I am. Questions have been running through my head all week. If I end up going to this University, it is nationally renowned for Naturopathic medicine. Right down my alley and such a compelling topic to me. My major would be nutrition science. I plan to take pictures and post them after my trip to discuss my experience.
Job.
I was informed today that I will no longer have a job as of June 17th. I had previously been told that I would have a job until September- but this has changed. I am stressed out. I can't even begin to explain how the next 6 months of my life will look. Will I be working? Will I make it into school in September? Where will I work? Will Kellen get a raise? (he graduates in December and we hope he will get a significant raise at that time). All I know is that somehow we have to afford a mortgage and our bills. I'm not sure how that's going to happen if I'm not working. It's complicated and messy. But that's life right?
Food.
Today I fully understood stress eating full force for the first time in 6 months. I honestly didn't think it was something I struggled with. I came home and ate 1/4 bag of potato chips, several spoonfuls of chocolate PB, some pot stickers, and way to much rice. Random. I feel like hurling.
Have you ever had a time in your life where you honestly did not know what the next 6 months would bring?
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15 comments:
Wow...you have a lot going on...great job on your new weight decade! Keep focused on the items you have some sort of control over and leave the rest behind you. Keep taking strength from the strength you've already shown...you will get through this...no doubt.
WOW--crazy day! Congrats on the loss. I really do hope everything works out for the best, Nicole. In fact, I sure things will work out for the best. I'm convinced that the best things happen to the best people, even if it doesn't seem that way at first. I'm also curious to know what the doctor said about your birth control. Millions of women around the world use birth control and I've personally heard doctors ok birth control. I do have my doubts, but I might be able to overlook them as long as I am exercising regularly and eating a plant based diet. I am violently afraid of an unplanned pregnancy.
I was on birth control for 2 years and I totally forgot what my body acted like after I got off of it because of the insane migranes it gave me. My body was completely different after I was off of the pill. In some good ways and some bad.. so just know some things may change.
And I'm there about the 6 months thing. I'm finishing grad school in August and my husband and I are need to move within the next few months to who knows where and I need to find a full-time job. So good luck with everything and know that you are not alone! :)
Yes, i have definitely been thru this a few times in my life - just so much going on at once & feeling overwhelmed. And not knowing what the future held. Hang in there! Things will be calm again & at peace! :)
Congrats on your new decade of weightloss! I weigh everyday too. It's very helpful to me as well.
Everything will work out. Everything! I will be thinking of you! & i will say a prayer for you everytime i do. :) I can't wait to hear about school!
Way to go on making it into the new decade...be aware that THAT may have contributed to the overeating episode too (along with the stress and everything else in your full day). I would get these mini freak outs when I passed into uncharted areas with my weight. Something to think about. As for the BC thing, I totally get it. It wasn't until I went off that I realized how my body was affected by the hormones....
Hope you have a fabulous day today!!
I'm sorry to hear about the uncertainty you're facing with work and school. Your shoulder problems sound scary. Congrats on the new decade. :)
Oh, I've been there. So don't lose hope. I know it's scary not knowing what's going to happen next or how things will turn out, but you have to remember that Jesus knows all and HE is in control of these various situations. He promises to never give us more than we can bear. He might stretch us and take us out of our comfort zone, but this is only to produce more faith and trust in Him. Where else do we have to look with things seem so insane? He is the only constant in life, and He won't ever let you down. Just pray. Philippians 4:6-7 is one of my very favorite verses: "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." And read Matthew 6:25-34 (too long to type!). I'm praying for you!
That IS a lot going on!! Something I have seen over and over again in life (mine and others) is that when something in our life ends or leaves us and life looks crazy uncertain... somewhere in the future you will look back and realize how much your life has grown since that point or because of that thing. Whether it be relationships or jobs or whatever... growth is coming your way and hopefully you will find that your life becomes richer. Plus... you've got God. :)
Way to go on the weight loss!!! And good decision on the birth control. :) I've never used it (except for three months before I realized how much I hated it.) If you are smart and pay attention to your body you will fine as far as kids go.
I feel like I never know what the next 6 months are going to look like and I always just hope that they are better then anything I can imagine. :)
Not having a job could be a blessing and give you time to focus on school maybe? I know that you can get good grants when you are married and going to school. I got fired from a job (long story) and I went to school, got my real estate license and it was a blessing!!
I know that life is stressful when the future is uncertain but the longer I am alive, the more I realize that nothing ever goes according to plan.
Congrats on the new weight decade, whoo hoo!!!!
I feel like that right now.
Congraulations on your new weight loss woot wooo!!!! Everything will work out for you!! Stay positive. :)
Oh Nicole, first off- I've really missed you and reading your blog- I've been a sucky blog friend lately. Ahh, sorry to hear about your job but I cannot even tell you (like seriously) how many times I've been in the EXACT same situation where I have no idea what the next 3-6 months will hold. It happened to me when I had no clue how I would be able to pay for my next semester of school and when I had moved to PA after graduation with no promise of a job or a position at a church but in those moments you just have to believe that God is truly in control of every detail of your life and that He has other plans for you and I can 100% guarantee you that His plans are always good :)
Good job on the new decade!
I'm sorry things feel like they're up in the air for you. I have faced an uncertain future too with the whole job loss thing.
Please be encouraged that these things will work themselves out. You have a lot going for you and the two of you when you put your heads together will come up with a plan. But I know it's hard too. Just breathe deeply and maybe journal a bit.
I too suffer from migranes and it sucks big time. I am down to 2-3 a month now, and words cannot describe the pain to people that have never experienced them. I rather give birth! The thing I hate the most is waking up the next morning and you think, "Is it gone, is it gone?". NOPE!
congrats on the weight!
And I used to have severe migrains...until I quit birth control. Now I almost never have them. Imagine that. :)
i'm there right now.
ANYWAY.
sorry i TOTALLY LAGGED IT on sending you the jillian DVD, but it is NOW OFFICIALLY at the postoffice.. :)
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