How does your spouse feel about this weight loss/healthy living blog?
I didn't receive this question- I am asking you all. I think one of the hardest struggles is getting my husband to understand why exactly I do this. I really don't know if he will ever really understand the support and encouragement I feel from this online blogger community.
To him, it's just a weird, passing fad that I will eventually give up and am just doing to kill time. Don't get me wrong- it's not that he discourages me from blogging in any way- but he really just doesn't understand. He gets frustrated if I'm blogging when he's around- even if he is busy with something else! It's frustrating to me that he can't see this as a hobby- it's like because he doesn't share in this, it's a waste of time.
I have to admit that I often get jealous of the girl's whose husbands embrace their blog full force: taking pictures of them and their food, writing entries for them, letting them take pictures of them doing "active" and "healthy" things (it may appear this is me- but let me be honest, this is honestly like pulling teeth in our relationship!).
Again, I want to be clear that he is really supportive of this health journey. He compliments me and encourages me and tells me he is proud. But knowing that he doesn't really understand why I "blog" just bugs me sometimes.
What about you? Have you dealt with anything similar for a spouse or someone close to you in your life? What about your health journey in general? How have others responded?
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22 comments:
In the beginning, I kept my blogging world a secret from my husband. However, that lasted 2 whole days and he caught me. As I became consistent (in blogging and pounds dropping), he saw that it was important enough for me to keep me going. He saw how engaged I was with trying to lose weight, especially after forking out a lot of money for weight watchers.
I've blogged about him several times and how I sometimes don't get the full support from him, especially when buying stuff when I hit a goal. He also giggles a little when I take pics of food, but he knows it's me trying to get back on track.
He doesn't 'get' the whole blogging world and doesn't really read my blog but he doesn't give me crap for spending hours reading other blogs because he knows it's for educational/motivational purposes. lol. He grumbles when I want him to take a picture of me, so maybe my next rewards is a camera tripod. lol!
Good luck to you and hopefully your hubby will turn around. *hugs*
Hi :-)
My partner is also supportive of my weight loss but is jealous of the blogging. He calls them "my friends" in that tone, you know. I think he thinks that because he is supportive I shouldnt need anyone else. And I have enough "real" friends who are all supportive but as Band Groupie said the other day "only banders know banders" and she is so right! I get so much help and support from blogging, more than from the doctors even. Lets fight the good fight and keep on blogging, love reading yours by the way x
Hey Nicole, I love this thought and glad you posted. We try to be everything to our partners and them to us. It's got to be hard for your husband to see you getting such strong support from a large group of people. Possibly support he's not able to give you. Remind him, often, that your progress is due, in large part, to his support! He needs to hear it. You're doing great and thanks for the motivation you give me.
Ohhh, bummer, Nicole! I'm really sorry. Maybe he will understand, in time? Brad is very supportive of my weightloss and my blogging. I mean, he's never guest posted for me or anything! But he might if i asked him to.
My mom & sister though - they don't read my blogs at all. Idk why that is. And if i mentioned my blog friends, they'd probably look at me like i was CRAZY! They are supportive of my weightloss. I just don't think they'd understand that one of my best decisions in my WL journey was to create a blog about it! LOL. Seriously! IDK what i'd do w/o all the encouragement from ppl who REALLY get it.
Whoa...I wrote almost your exact blog entry in a comment today. My husband isn't unsupportive he's just totally not involved, doesn't get it, doesn't come to my races, doesn't eat what I eat and I'm pretty sure he believes the passing fad thing as well.
I too get jealous of all the other blogger spouses that participate. I understand your pain sweetie, I really do.
That's a bummer that he doesn't get why you enjoy it and do it. :(
I've been blogging for over five years now so most people that know me know it's just a part of my life. It's what I do. My husband doesn't mind at all that I blog. He thinks it's great... but he rarely reads it ha! He has posted for me after the babies were born and I was still in the hospital. Other than that though... it's my thing. But he does things that I don't get... like shooting guns and racing cars haha.
Hopefully your husbands learns to enjoy all of this with you. And if not... you still got all your friends here. :)
my husband reads my blog to point out my spelling errors, it's rather irritating :-)
But in all honesty he has no problems with it and if i'm struggling through something I haven't told him about and he reads it, he will normally confront me and ask how he can help.
Not sure what to suggest to you other than telling your husband exactly what you told us, that everyone supports you and you find it motivating.
I'm a closet blogger myself. LOL My husband supports my weight loss journey and enjoys our new way of eating but he is impatient when I only lose a fraction of a pound....that's a whole other story. Maybe I'll blog about that. Back on subject, I blog secretly because he doesn't understand that online communications is not only helpful for my weight loss and well being but has become sort of a hobby as well. Afer all, he can spend hours out in his shop tinkering with his cars.....maybe that's how he stays so slim. I find keeping my fingers busy when I'm tempted to give into a snack attack has been the best thing I ever did for myself. Anyhow, for now, I'll continue to be a closet blogger and have fun with it.
My husband was like yours. I think it was more of a "it took time away from him" kinda thing. So I started blogging while he was at work, while he was in the shower, mowing the lawn. Whatever, as long as it didn't take any time away from him.
You know maybe it scares them a little? It's just something that we have of our own and they really aren't a part of it... I mean they are to some extent but it's something we are SO passionate about and it kinda of leaves them in the dust.
You could ask him why it bothers him... It may be something very simple to fix.
Cole knows I blog and supports it but I won't let him read it-the grass is always greener-haha-Cole watched Julie & Julia with me so he probably hopes it will pay the bills someday-haha.
That's so crazy that you posted this just now because it's something I've considered posting about too. It took a few months of dating before I even told my boyfriend about my blog and when I did he was like, "You're such a nerd! You blog?!". Not going to lie, that was a bit hurtful. But I explained to him how it was important to me and that I hadn't even shared it with anyone in my family. I said he didn't have to read it and he said he probably wouldn't at first. But I saw the other day he has it bookmarked on his computer and he asked me about something I posted a while back. So I know he does read it once in a while!
The biggest problem is he's an enabler. He has the worst eating habits and so do I when we're together. Right now, that's my biggest stumbling block. So maybe I should blog about that!
Anyway, this is way too long so I'm going to go! But you're not alone! :)
I can't realllly answer because I don't have a significant other. Haha, it would be nice to have some support in that capacity! I'd love to have a guy tell me he notices my weight loss or that I look sexy or heck, anything! Nobody I know in real life reads my blog. That's probably because I don't really have many friends. :) I guess that's also why I share nerdy things like my GMAT percentile ranking on my blog.
I saw one of my mom's friends a few weeks ago, and she noticed I lost 40 pounds. That's about all the acknowledgment I get. My health journey generally goes unnoticed.
Ramsey, my son, is active and a healthy eater, so I'm sure he's glad that I'm becoming more and more like him.
I hope your hubby comes around and is more supportive of the blogging. :)
Some people just don't "get" blogging! I think that when you are on some sort of journey which for me is motherhood and now weight loss, finding other people that are in the same boat as you is SO valuable.
My husband fully supports my blogging. He is grateful that I enjoy it so much because it has made it really easy to track our memories with our daughter and he loves looking at it at work (my family blog) because there are always good pictures, etc. He supports the weight loss blog too, he figures whatever keeps me motivated must be a good thing. I was also HUGELY motvated by bloggers that had lost the amount of weight that I needed to lose in the beginning and I think Brett saw how how that impacted me and was happy for it.
I don't think Kellan is alone though amongst other spouses out there. I am sure if he FULLY understood how much blogging meant to you, he would be more supportive but like I said, some people don't get it. I have friends even that when I mention blogging they roll their eyes. I think that everyone needs a blog in life, it is a great place to vent, journal, track, and grow as a woman/man/mother/daughter/etc.!!!! :)
It's not like my husband doesn't like me to blog, but I don't think he totally gets it. I've told him before that reading blogs helps me feel more motivated and encourage to continue with my journey. I think if I asked him to take pictures of me he would, but he'd think it's weird. I wish I would take more pictures for my blog, but I feel like he'll think it's silly to take pictures of what I'm eating. Overall, he supports me 100%!
My husband is VERY encouraging about my weight loss. He gets excited on my weigh in days and tries to make me feel better if I have stayed the same or gained.
He is a computer geek so he loves that I blog. I don't ask him to help me with pics and I haven't even let him read it but he loves that I do it because he thinks that it makes me a little bit geeky :)
The only thing that he asks is that I don't post pictures of him. Fair enough.
I will tell you, I am where you and hubby are!!
Love doesn't understand my blogging. It doesn't bother him, but he doesn't understand why I share my story for the world to see and honestly, I don't expect him too. He was never fat, so he doesn't understand how people can mean so much to you and be so supportive of you in good and bad times. It's what I do for me and me time. That is our agreement. He teases me, but I don't care! I love blogging, maybe more than I love him ;)
I think blogging makes me interesting!
Husband like to meet your every need. He can't meet the need writing a blog fulfills. It's threatening. He'll understand that as you both mature in your marriage. Promise. Be sensitive about it and don't make it an issue of contention. He just loves you and want to be all for you. Sweet guy.
My husband doesn't read my blogs... although he used to. He feels that sometimes I write something and then gets to thinking it's about him (although not really connected to him.. guilty?? hmmm..) so, he said he stopped reading.
He doesn't say deny me but doesn't support me either.. so I am alone in my blogging...
P. S. - I don't blog at home (I do it at the office) I find it uncomfortable to write when hubby is around...
pls visit my blog... (i don't get many visitors) =)
www.etcheteraetchetera.blogspot.com
That's a big question. Blogging is interesting because it's unlike anything that was done...ten years ago? There are so many different aspects to it, the creative part, the social part, the connective part...some times that appeals to people...other times it doesn't. I think it's similiar to if a woman doesn't understand her husband enjoying watching football. He doesn't understand the enjoyment in blogging.
My fiance is very supportive of my blog, and thinks it's great way for me to go on and on about it, without him having to hear it! I think it's a little less supportive in terms of actually losing weight, but only because he doesn't understand why people overeat or why it's difficult to exercise and make healthy choices. Which is why I'm so glad I have blogs to read!!
I haven't really told my hubby about my weight loss/healthy journey blog. Not sure if he reads it. BUT my other blog, he LOVES. He even gives me a hard time when I don't post. I love that he loves it.
I just found your blog! My husband Q doesn't understand why I blog. Over time he has gotten into it. I think a gentle approach would work. Does he like sports? You could maybe show him with an analogy why you need his support. For example,"Honey, I don't understand why you want to run around chasing a ball, called soccer, but I support you and your hobbies. I know you don't understand, but please love me and support my need to blog." Showing Q using sports REALLY helped.
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