Hi, Baby, I'm Nicole.

One thing I've started to see as I see my friends and family members are starting to have children and starting families is the way in which moms so easily "lose themselves." It's like they were this person with all these interests in life, dreams, aspirations and well...personalities. And then they have children and all of the sudden all of that goes out the window and they become "blah's mom" and no longer an actual person themselves. This is kinda sad to me.

I mean, don't get me wrong, there is nothing in my mind that doubts that my children will be my number one priority in my life (other than God). I will love them immensely and they will know this. But I also don't plan on giving up Nicole, and becoming just someone's mom. Just like when I got married....I'm not just Kellen's wife: I am Nicole, and I am ever changing and ever working on me as a person.

This will be a constant thought in the next 6 months as I prepare for baby number one. What will this look like for Kellen and I? How will we help each other out to not let who WE are fade away (not to mention our marriage!).

I have to give a shout out to my friend Laura over at Life Happens. She has written two different posts on this subject, and she really says it how it is. I'm going to quote her posts below but please, if you are interested, go and check her out and follow her- she is so raw, honest, and refreshing.

From Laura's Blog:

"I've seen this a few times on facebook this week as people's status...

I traded eyeliner for dark circles, salon hair cuts for ponytails, long showers for hairy legs, late nights for early mornings, designer purses for diaper bags, nice dinners for McDonald's and I wouldn't trade a thing!! With Mother's day drawing near lets see how many Mom's repost this!

Of course this has been changed as it's gone through people and you see things like...

"Mom's don't care what we have to give up for our kids."

and

"I would give everything up for my kids without a second thought."

Ugh.

I DO CARE. And no I won't give up everything. I am a person. I have a name. I don't want to be known as Liza and Jason's mom. I am LAURA! Yes I am their mom but I am still an individual and I have things that I am not giving up. And I don't think anything is wrong with that.

Sure I might have to put a few things on hold. I know I can't do my hobbies as often as I would like. BUT... I need to keep my heart alive because some day my kids will move out and I will need to know who I am because people will no longer be calling me Liza and Jason's mommy all the time and instead they are going to want to know who Laura is.

Don't throw yourself and your dreams out the window when you have kids. Find a way to BE YOU while being a mom.

Kids are being raised these days to think they are the center of everything and the world revolves around them. This is not healthy! It's alright to have your kids sit in their bed for ten minutes and read books so you can shave your legs. It's ok to put on a video for a little while if you want to fix your hair and put on makeup. These things don't make you a bad mom... in fact they just might make you a BETTER mom (now there's a thought!) because you took time to make yourself feel better.

I know. I'm radical like that.

But you know that saying "if mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy"... I believe there is quite a bit of truth to that.

So... it's ok to change over the years. But please do not give up who you are because the world needs YOU!"

The other post of hers I loved can be found here:

http://laurablogsagain.blogspot.com/2009/10/laura-first.html

Check her out, she's a wise one :)